TEETH FLASH FEAR
dont just hitch your wagon to a star; hitch
it to the moon and the sun, too
way I tested myself and came out surprised was by
sending a brand-new piece of mine to Hillary
Carlip, girl wonder and editor of a wonderful
Yarn. As some of you remember, a few entries ago,
I promised to send more of my material to publications
I like and admire. Fresh Yarn was first on my list.
Originally, I found it because I am a huge, dorky
admirer of Francesca Lia Block and her writing. I
Googled her and found a lovely essay shed written
about fashion in Fresh Yarn. Then, I got to peeking
around the rest of the site and saw quality material
from people who were at the top of their game in their
I stumbled onto Ms. Carlip herself, who just amazed
and inspired me. Those of you who know me well will
know just how fucking cool I think it is that she
juggled in Olivia Newton-Johns Xanadu movie
and won The Gong Show. As fate (or some other stuff)
would have it, I read part of Hillarys newest
of the Oddballs while at a friends house.
The book was in my friends bathroom and I was
so enchanted by it, that I pretended to be constipated
to keep reading it. Eventually, my friend grew suspicious,
and I had to put the sweet book down. I sneaked to
the local bookstore and read the rest of it on one
of the comfy chairs meant to help people try out books.
reading it, I was so floored that I bought it immediately.
Having it in my hot little hands and in my cozy little
bed made the second read even better (and wow, Paul
Reubens AKA PeeWee Herman even wrote a blurb on the
back cover). I laughed, I cried, I contemplated my
own fabulosity. Then, I decided I had to get a piece
of mine in Fresh Yarn. The piece seemed to write itself,
which is strange for me. Usually, I put a lot of thought
into my pieces. This, I wrote on a Saturday in a spiral
notebook, typed on a Sunday, and sent out on a Monday.
I didnt expect to hear anything, as Hillary
is on a book tour. She was on Ellen Degeneres
show, teaching Ellen how to swallow fire. Liza Minnelli
came out with a fire extinguisher later in the segment.
So, as I said, if Hillary was swallowing fire with
Ellen and trotting her fabulous book all over, I wasnt
going to hear from her. Imagine my surprise when I
got a letter on Thursday, saying, I loved your
piece and Im putting the strongest pieces in
first. Later Thursday night, I got a personal
letter where she called my piece exquisite,"
said it was gorgeous writing, and told
me that she wanted to hunt down more of my work.
written a few letters back and forth. Shes been
so kind and gracious that it makes me see just how
important mentoring and supporting other artists is.
Im still in the spinning-around-and-shouting-about-it
phase. Here I almost didnt send the piece to
the publication and now, this wacky gal is reading
my work and saying she loves it. Its just another
lesson in following through and believing in my work
and myself. Ill always be home if I do that.
Ive got more pieces to send to the other publications
on my list and I have a good feeling about this. Maybe
what I needed before wasnt inspiration, but
a basic belief in myself. I am gaining that slowly
every day and feel like Im falling in love with
my life all over again.
know that Ive been quiet here. Sometimes, I
get quiet because I have to grow. I had to grow. I
am growing, but not so willing to be quiet now.
Teeth Flash Fear